First, it is going to be okay.
Second, I know how you feel. I was there, so trust me on what I am about to tell you.
You can probably remember the day he told you that he was even thinking about joining & I am sure your heart skipped about two thousand beats. His enlistment day came & he told you the day he was leaving. You made a countdown probably named "My Love Leaves..." & tried to make every moment of the next however many days count. But no matter how hard you prayed & wished it wouldn't come, it came.
Whether he is gone for 8 weeks or 13, it stinks. It is a test of your relationship to say the least. No matter the strength, it is taxing. The day he leaves will be your worst day, I am sorry to say. Your eyes will be red & puffy most of the day, but then you fall asleep (probably still crying) & you wake up to your new reality. You spend the next months stalking the mailman & making sure your phone is always on full volume just in case that precious call ever comes. I would be lying if I said I wasn't beyond happy it is over for me. But, I did learn a lot. Not only about myself & what I like to do with my time that doesn't involve my better half, but I also learned a lot about our relationship & how much value it holds.
The most bizarre thing about basic & boot camp is that you don't even get to have contact with him, yet you find yourself falling more in love with him. Every letter makes you cry happy tears while you're trying to studying every sweet word carefully. Then your countdown hits single digits & your faced with the day you have been counting to for months: The Day of Reunion.
You bought your plane ticket, your hotel, your perfect outfit for him to see you again & as you're on the way, there are a million things running through your mind. "Does he still love me?" "Will he still even think I'm cute?" The day comes & you are a puddle of butterflies & happy tears as you see them walking out to be dismissed. Then, they're finally dismissed after what feels like years & you see the crowd break & through hundreds of people you see the person you have waited all this time for. I can't begin to describe how the first hug feels. Every fear & doubt you had melts away as you feel his embrace more intensely than you ever did before.
The day zooms by faster than the blink of an eye. & in the next few days, he will be off on his next adventure. You won't be able to make a countdown to the next time you see him, because you don't know. But I promise, it ends. It will end & every hardship & every late-night-time-zone-affected phone call & all the zip codes between you will be no more. & you made it. I never knew I could do this, but I am & I know you can too.
To the girl whose boyfriend is leaving, it will end & it is so beyond worth it.
-KS
We all know that couple. The couple that makes every single argument & problem a public announcement. Every one of their followers is convinced they are broken up for sure, just to see a post the next day about how much they love each other. If you want everyone to know every last fight & issue of your relationship, be my guest. But I don't think that is the best way to go about it.
Anyone who follows me on any social media account knows I CONSTANTLY post about my husband. He is in 99% of my Instagram photos, tweets, & posts on Facebook. Everyone knows we are together & thriving. Which is good, because if there are seemingly no cracks in your relationship, there won't be anything (or anyone) trying to fill them. One angry post about how annoying your boyfriend or girlfriend is can cause people to comment & message you telling you that if you need anything, they are there for you. Which is fine, if it is your friend, but a complete stranger with no knowledge of you but your screen name, not so much.
I believe this is one of the main issues with our generation. We turn to social media to complain & rant any time something doesn't go how we wanted. We run to our "friends" that we have never even met to tell us they are there for us. We love to hear the ringtone we have set for our messenger app that lets us know that someone we share mutual friends with & likes your selfies, cares. I am by no means discrediting online friendships. Some of my most supportive friends I met online. However, if your "friendship" is solely a comment or message every time you post an angry status, you may want to reevaluate.
No relationship is perfect. My husband & I argue sometimes, but I will not publicly insult someone I am sharing my life with. That just is not right. It is one thing to complain about how stressed you are or how things just are not going your way. But to bash your so called "partner" on Facebook is not the way to handle your relationship problems. Yes, there is a delete button on every social media site now, but once you hit "post," at least one person will be seeing what you said.
Share your relationships triumphs, not its downfalls. & next time you have an argument with your boyfriend, try calling them about your problems instead of posting it where your grandma can see it. Because that is a very confusing conversation to have over Thanksgiving dinner.
-KS
Growing up, I had my perfect timeline planned out. I was going to graduate high school, go to a big university, get my degree (never knew what in), move back to my population 300 town, find the perfect man, start my career, get married at like 25, have kids, & live happily ever after. That was my take on an amazing life.
Then, I met Jake & my life plan got flipped 180 degrees. My life plan turned into not really knowing what my life plan was. My plan wasn't to find my dream man until I was out of college, yet there he was standing in front of me at one month into being 17 years old with a year left of high school telling me he was joining the Marine Corps after we graduate. I had no idea what to think, or how to plan for it. & honestly there is no form of planning any one can do to prepare for life with your better half in the military. I didn't know what I was getting myself into & I still don't. One of the biggest talks Jake & I had about his life in the military was what was going to happen with us as a couple. We both knew life would be much more unbearable without each other, so we had to figure it out. I think we both kind of blocked out the thought of him leaving for a few months. In April or May we started really talking about what we were doing. We knew we wanted to be together forever, so why not start now?
Jake & I got engaged not even 3 months after graduating high school. We got married 2 days after he graduated boot camp. He was 19, I was 18.
I have been asked many questions when it came to the reasoning of Jake & I getting married. Here are my personal favorites:
"Are you pregnant?"
"Does he just want to make more money?"
"If you get married now, won't you get bored in a few years?"
"Why?"
As if loving someone is no longer a good enough reason to want to spend forever with them. I'm sure that if Jake had gone to college or into the work force, we probably would have waited a few more years to get married, but I couldn't imagine life any different. It got to the point that I didn't even want to tell people I was engaged to try & dodge the judgment that came along with it. Then, I was sitting in my room, reading a letter from Jake while he was at boot camp talking about how he couldn't wait to come home & marry me & I realized, who the heck cares. Who cares how many people do the wow-you-look-12-&-you-are-getting-married face paired with the awkward "oh." Who cares how many people ask if you're pregnant. Who cares how many people just ask, "Why?" As long as you & your spouse are happy & know your reasons why, what does the opinion of a random person asking you about your engagement ring really matter?
I understand the hesitation to be okay with someone who is 18 & wanting to get married. Heck, I got my license 2.5 years ago & don't really understand how to file my taxes. I can't drink, get more than a 500 dollar limit on my credit card, & I just made my own Netflix account. Even though there are a lot of things that I don't know or understand fully, there is some things I do know. I know that Jake is the only person in my life that even when I am having the worst day in existence, he can still make me smile with just a glance. I know that every passing day, whether we are together physically or not, I look forward to the next day, week, month, & year with him more & more. I know that I will never love a person like I love Jake. I hope everyone feels toward someone the way I do towards Jake.
There are a lot of hardships that come to being married, let alone at 18 & 19, lots of which we haven't even had to face yet. But, there isn't a single soul on this Earth I would rather go through every hard time in our life with.
-KS
