What Being With Someone In The Military Is Really Like

Everyone sees the super sweet videos of people from boot camp, deployments, or just a long time of distance being reunited with their loved one. Heck, I have a video of Jake & I running to each other after 3 incredibly long months of him being away to achieve his most sought after goal, besides marrying me of course. (Just Kidding) If you haven't seen our video, you should. I tear up every time I see it solely because I can remember the pure joy Jake & I both saw in the others eyes as we ran to each other for the first time in what seemed like forever. It was amazing, & every homecoming video is. But there is so much behind those smiles & happy tears that does not meet the eye. 

To be in a relationship with someone in the military is beyond words. But I can think of a few.

The first word I can think of to describe it is Wait. We wait for them to finish basic or boot camp (depending on the branch). We wait for our custom made shirts with their last name on it to wear to their graduation. We wait for their job schooling to be finished. We wait for the much awaited homecoming from deployments. We wait. & wait. & wait some more. 

Another word is Support. Even when we can make a 10 page MLA formatted paper of all of the reasons why he shouldn't leave & all of the things he'll miss while he's gone, we still support him 295%. We hang flags, buy sweatshirts, get bumper stickers, you name it, we've got it for the branch that our man is in & for the country we all so greatly love. It's about knowing how insanely much you'll miss him, yet you still help him pack away all of his camouflage uniforms & boots & make sure he knows you'll be right where he left you when he comes home. But knowing that he couldn't tell you how much your support means to him even if he tried, is why we do what we do.

& the last word is Pride. Understanding what I am talking about when it comes to being proud is something I never understood myself. I'm not by any means discrediting a parents pride in their children, but when it's someone you chose to be with, who knows you better than anyone, someone who you love more than anyone on this planet as your equal, it is different. Until I saw Jake standing on the parade deck of MCRD San Diego, being dismissed as a United States Marine, I hadn't had that. Yes, he graduated high school & I was crazy proud of him then, but something about seeing him in the uniform he had only dreamed about wearing for years was indescribable. (Plus he looked SO handsome) I had never felt a more radiating, selfless joy & pride in my life. He makes me more proud every day. 

All of these words aside, I didn't marry Jake because he was in the military. I loved him way before the dog tags & no-guard-on-the-sides hair cuts, & I'll love him all the way until there are no more military duties. 

Life with someone in the military is frustrating, difficult, & demanding on both sides, home & away. It pretty much just sucks. If you told 16-year-old Katarina that she would be married at 18 years old & about  to move across the country, she probably would have straight laughed at you & called you insane. I never would have imagined my life the way it is today, but now as I look up at my American Flag hanging on my wall, my wedding band on my finger, & my Marine in my heart, I know that my life, military problems & all, could not be more amazing. 

-KS

Loving From A Distance

Love is the most sincere, consuming, indescribable feeling in existence. We love our parents before we can even speak & we love our friends as we grow up. We are taught love from the moment we take our first breath. Love is the theme of nearly every song, book, television show, etc. It seriously makes the world go 'round. 

By definition, love is "an intense feeling of deep affection." But I don't think that even begins to describe the actual meaning of love. Love isn't a thing that can be defined by words. Every person sees & feels love differently, & that's okay! Love is subjective. It also varies between people, mother to daughter, sister to brother, husband to wife, friend to friend. No matter who the love is between, it is special & irreplaceable. Loving someone is the most vulnerable portrayal of appreciation you can give. Be it your mom, dad, brother, sister, grandparents, your love for them shows how much they mean in your life. 

In the past 6 months, I have said see ya later to some of the most important people in my life. Obviously, Jake leaving was by far the hardest (not only because, well, he's the love of my life, but also the whole "no communication" thing was not fun), but I also had to say goodbye to two of my best friends (& future bridesmaids.) Megan was the first to go. She moved to South Carolina to pursue a marine chemistry degree (GO MEGAN) & she's rocking it. She only came home twice the whole semester, one because of Hurricane Matthew & the other for Thanksgiving (& my wedding). We made the best of it though, FaceTime is a wonderful invention. I couldn't be more proud of her. Madeline left right before Jake did, & that was hard. We had been best friends for literally our whole life. She lived all of 10 minutes from my house, but now she was 4 hours away. It isn't too far, but much farther than 10 minutes. Being away from her, especially in the difficult times I had being away from Jake, it was hard to go through without my best friend minutes away. We would go a few days without talking because our schedules didn't really work well together. But, we found a way & her coming home some weekends was the highlight of the semester for me. She was the Maid of Honor in Jake & I's wedding, & even from 4 hours away she was still so helpful & the best MOH I could have asked for. I love them both, just from a distance. 

Jake being gone the first time was by far the hardest thing I have ever been through in my entire life, & him leaving every time will be terrible. From the first day he left, I was miserable. Saying goodbye to my better half was like watching your heart get ripped out & stomped on. I can still picture his face & his eyes welling up with tears through the "I love you, I'll see you soon" & the final super tight hug before turning around & walking away. Even him leaving this last time, looking into his eyes through both of our tears (him trying to hide his) & saying the final goodbye for we don't really know how long, absolutely destroyed me. It will never, ever be easy to say goodbye to him, even if it is only for a few days. But, I know that every goodbye, every tear, every last hug for a while, is worth it to us both. We both know that no matter how long we go without being next to the other, we will reunite & be better together than we were before. There are times that I feel very bitter & upset about him being gone, like when I see people that don't appreciate their loved one sitting right in front of them while I appreciate mine from thousands of miles away. I would never wish this kind of hurt & longing on anyone, but I will say that it has made me realize how truly blessed I am to have found my better half in him. I love him every single minute of every single day, just from a distance. 

Loving can be difficult. Finding the time to put into the person receiving your love can be very hard to do, but it is even worse from far away. Schedules just not lining up, technology failing us, or not knowing when the next time you get to feel their hug can cause someone to go crazy with frustration. There has to be a lot more effort put into your relationship than "normal" relationship. But, conquering the distance proves that love can prevail, & it will. It doesn't matter the city, county, or time difference. If your love, no matter if it's your spouse, your sister, or your best friend, is strong, none of the superficial barriers can stop it from growing into the biggest & best love it can possibly be. 

Loving from a distance is hard, but it is so worth it.

-KS

The Engagement

As the news of a porposal swirls around social media, the public encounters with people you grew up with, went to high school with, or just knew from around town arre full of questions. How it normally goes is like this: "Oh my goodness! Congratulations! Let me see it!" The next is always "So, how did he do it??" 

Jake (with the help of my best friend & future Maid of Honor, Madeline ) worked very hard putting Jake's proposal together. I for sure did NOT help in the planning process. I am very, um, hardheaded? Stubborn? The beginning of Jake's plan for engagement was Madeline taking me to Pasta House (an Italian Restaurant in St. Louis & my favorite restuarant & the place Jake & I went on the night he asked me to be his girlfriend) & I did not want to go there. She asked me to go a few days before & I kept telling her no, we can go somewhere else. After her & Jake's efforts to convince me to go, I went. We ate, talked, & when the bill came, a picture of Jake & I was along with it. 

             


I was very confused, but when Madeline smiled at me I knew what was happening. We got in the car & Madeline took my phone away. The address took us to Dairy Queen. Jake & I would get blizzards from there what seemed like daily. I worked there for a year in high school so one of my friends actually handed the next clue to me. 

             

This was to 7-11. On the days we didn't get Dairy Queen, we got 7-11. The lady who handed me this clue knew Jake & I very well. She hid the clue from me for a minute, but finally gave it to me. 

             

The address on this clue was to Jake's house. When Madeline & I got there, his brother (who is also a Marine), sister, dad, mom, pretty much everyone in his family was sitting on the driveway hanging out. I asked if they knew where a clue was & they all made that I-know-what's-happening-but-I-can't-tell-you look & his brother said, "I think Jake's at the gas station!" & everyone just looked at him & laughed. I walked into his house & into his room where Mia was, with a clue sitting right next to her. 

             

There's a park by our hometown called Mastodon State Park. There's a huge trail up on a hill & a smaller trail on the flat part next to the creek. On the small trail, there is a little building that backs up to the creek, which is where Mia's favorite place to swim is. The next clue was taped on the building. 

             

The last clue was to the place Jake & I first met. If you've read my first blog post that was all about me, you know it was at Kennedy Park. Madeline & I pulled up & I could see him standing the next to Shawn (his best friend & future best man). I got out of the car & walked up to where he was standing which was right next to the last picture. 

           

I turned around from reading this & he was on one knee. I'll spare you the mushy gushy super sweet things he said while on a knee, but it ended with a question that I knew my answer to before he even finished it. 

Proposals are unique to the couple. Every proposal is unique, just like the love between the couple. No matter the proposal, the excitement of the coming wedding is right around the corner.

-KS

The Wedding Ring

Don't lie, every girl you know (including yourself) has a board on Pinterest of what the perfect wedding for her would be, up to & including the trademark of a wedding: The Wedding Ring. 

I was on Facebook the other day & I saw a story from a man who had just proposed to his girlfriend with a ring he bought after saving up for months. They had been together for years & were in their early 20's while finishing both of their degrees. They didn't have much money, but he knew he loved her & wanted to be with her forever. So, he planned an amazing dinner & walk on the beach before dropping to a knee & pouring out his heart to the girl he loved. & she said no. She said no, because she didn't think the ring he got her was good enough. Needless to say, he broke up with her after & moved on with life. Now, I am sure you could argue that maybe he could have waited until they were more financially stable. I think this actually showed her true character, but this story really got me thinking. 

What is the actual point of a wedding ring? I did some research (I love learning new things) & the wedding band dates back to 6,000 years ago in Ancient Egypt where braided hemp & reeds that were exchanged between wedded couples as a public display of their commitment to the other. The modern version of the wedding ring that were made of precious metals originated in Ancient Rome & Greece. The diamond engagement ring, however, did not come about until 1938 during The Great Depression when diamond prices dropped drastically. Then, in 1947 the slogan "diamonds are forever" came about. Thus, the insanity on the perfect diamond engagement ring was born. 

Now that you have had your history lesson for the day, we can ask the real question: Does the wedding ring actually matter? 

Don't get me wrong, I love my wedding ring & I am so grateful to Jake for making sure I had exactly what I wanted my ring to be like. So, this is not a post about not wanting a ring or bashing on girls that have huge rocks. Since Jake & I started dating we knew we were going to be married pretty young. We didn't know the exact year or time, but we knew we had found our missing half in each other & we wanted to grow up as one. When we talked about getting married, Jake's first concern wasn't the guest list or the place of ceremony. It was my ring. He was scared that he wouldn't be able to afford a ring that would make me happy. A few months before he proposed, he bought a ring for me. It was cubic zirconium & sterling silver, & I loved it. It wasn't my "dream ring," but it was from Jake & that was all I really cared about. 

The part of getting engaged that (surprisingly) was the worst, was people asking to see my ring. I would rather someone ask to see an engagement picture than look at my ring. While Jake was in boot camp, he made it very, very clear that when he got home, he was getting me a new ring. We were getting married 2 days after we came back from his graduation, so I had to get my ring while Jake was still gone. I felt so, so guilty going & picking a ring out on my own that I sent him a picture in a letter right when I got home with it. Jake, being the amazing man he is, said he didn't care what I chose as long as I was happy with it. I picked a beautiful solitaire ring and a diamond band. I fell in love with it the second it was on my hand. 

I love my wedding ring. Every time I look at it, I fall more in love with the man I never thought I could love more. But, this is right where I think the problem comes in. Not everyone looks at a wedding ring as a public visualization of your individual love, they look at it as the bigger the diamond, the more love. Some of the most elegant, beautiful, extravagant rings have no love behind them, & the smallest, or no diamond at all rings have more love than able to profess. My grandma has 2 wedding rings. Her diamond one is absolutely stunning. My grandpa picked it out for her & it has a lot of sentimental value. She also has a gold band. Just a band, no diamond. & she wears it every single day. I asked her why she doesn't wear her diamond one & she said "I just don't see the point in it unless I'm trying to impress someone with my flashy ring." Now, my grandma wasn't trash talking her ring or my grandpa, she just doesn't see the point in the diamond ring. They have been married 57 years & that little gold band she wears on her left ring finger represents 3 children, 2 people in love, & 1 family that I was born into and all started with purely love.

Always remember, without love, there is no point in a ring. So, Relationship first. Rings second.

-KS

All About Me

I decided my first post is just going to be about me, so here it goes. My name is Katarina Strode (formerly Kutilek), I am an 18 year old from a small town in Missouri that no one has ever heard of, I graduated in 2016 as secretary of my class, married my best friend (who also happens to be a U.S. Marine), & am currently in college pursuing an unknown major because, let’s face it, who really knows what I want to be when I grow up.

Here’s a picture of me in a gown the same color as mustard.

Growing up in a tiny town, everyone knows everyone. My parents were both elementary school teachers, so it was even worse for my sister and I with everyone knowing our entire lives as we grew up, especially my parents divorce in 2009. I played every sport you could imagine until I had a my-best-friend-was-a-cheerleader-so-I-can-be-too accident in my front yard & broke my growth plates in my elbow. Many surgeries later, I was out of sports for good. So, I moved to choir, theatre, and speech & debate. I found my in-crowd in high school with the kids who everyone looked at with weird glances in the hall because they were singing & reading scripts while walking to class. Aside from those being my friends, I knew everyone in my high school, freshman & senior alike.  I was “that girl” in high school, who seemed to have everything figured out. But jokes on them, I DID NOT. I changed my “when I grow up, I want to be..” about twice a week & chose my life plans by my feelings the minute someone asked me. About halfway through my senior year, I decided to play it safe & just go to our community college on a full scholarship while I figure my future plans out. I still don’t really know what I want to do, but hey, I’ve got time.

                         

   

Now for my favorite part of my story. After my junior year, I had just broken up with my boyfriend & like every teenage girl, I was heartbroken. My friend & I went to eat sympathy ice cream (because frozen dairy fixes everything) & I went home after. A few days later, she asked if I wanted to go on a drive (a popular thing to do in my town) & I said yes & was on my way. I met her, the guy she was a thing with & that I had been friends with for years, & his friend, Jake. We all got in Jake’s Explorer (aka Dora The Explorer) & went to Kennedy Playground. On the way there, Jake talked to me about my recently-ex boyfriend & how I deserved better than this & he was sorry I had to deal with him. Once we got to Kennedy, our friends sat on the swings & were talking, so Jake & I did too. We talked about a lot for people who before that night just has passing smiles in the halls of high school. After a few hours, we decided to go home. We all parted ways & when I got home I messaged Jake on twitter & told him thank you for listening to me babble & that I felt we could be really good friends. He responded with his phone number. Now, if you ask Jake today, he would tell you that it was love at first sight. Not for me. I spent days ignoring his attempts to talk to me. Then, on a surprising turn of events (that will be in another blog entry), he stole my heart. We started dating August 1, 2015.

               

A couple weeks later, we started looking for a puppy (because what else do couples do). We decided on a precious Australian Cattle Dog Blue Heeler puppy & named her Mia. She is a hyper, well-trained (thanks to her dad), ball of spunk who enjoys taking up 9/10ths of the bed & chasing her tail. She was my rock & best friend when Jake was in boot camp. If you don’t know the joy & love of having a dog, I highly recommend.
          

                A year later, my best friend Madeline was about to leave for college & she told me we were going out to eat after I got off work. We went, ate, & then when the bill came a picture of Jake & I was along with it. On the back was a note from Jake that had an address on the back. & so began my scavenger hunt to the place we first met (Kennedy Playground as aforementioned). August 6, 2016 I said yes to spending the rest of my life with my best friend.

           

After 4 1/2 months of being engaged, Jake & I were married on November 20, 2016 in a park near our hometown & it was everything I could have hoped the day to be & so much more. You’ll hear more of it in future posts, but here are some pictures to tide you over until then.
                                  

       

      

Thank you so much for reading this insanely long post all about the pretty boring me. I hope you keep stopping by when I post! There are many of stories & pictures to come! (:

-KS